Hello.
read me, write me, understand me
I’m really proud of myself for attending an open mic poetry slam last night, and without having planned it I stood up and read one of my poems to the crowd. In a way, I secretly always wanted to do that but was scared and nervous to share personal thoughts with strangers, but that’s the whole reason why I started blogging in the first place; to get used to sharing my work with the public. No longer just a closet-writer hiding away in my journals in my bedroom, but a confident writer who can share my passion for prose available for all to read and hear.
So I was really nervous right before I took the leap to stand up and read but I realized, just as in most cases, once you start doing it and you’re in it the nerves subside and the only thoughts are of the moment you are in. The audience’s applauds felt really good as it affirmed to me that people DO want to listen to what I have to say. I really could get used to this open mic stuff! Somewhere between the Bordeaux wine I sipped on, the dim candlelight, and the poetic souls around me, I felt the courage to be a part of it.
Since I didn’t go there ready, I just looked up on my iphone the poem I had posted on Facebook and read it straight off of my page. This is what I shared:
~~Endings are Beginnings~~ Monday, July 13, 2009 at 10:13pm |standing on a platform
one you built in life
overlooking the blue ocean
that was my granted childhood sight
frozen near the edge of the cliff
questioning why you left
letting Death win a cowardly fight
raised a sheltered fence
to secure me from falling
but I couldn’t be there
to protect you from dieing
now I’m left crying
inching closer to the blue
wondering if I fall
will I swim back to you
because you departed
from a lonely lovely world
pondering if your new destination
might have endless sunny elation
feeling cheated that you were stolen
ripped from out of my arms
losing grip
as you slowly slipped into abyss
I miss
everything about you
maybe I’ll jump and come join you
because torn is my heart
and you own a part
return it to me
demanding unselfishly
unfair the music stopped
when the machetes struck the rock
and now silence makes me cry
next to you I want to lie
close my eyes and let go
just like a free bird fly
lose my breath
as I take my last
and in slow motion
stare at the sky
slide down to earth and die
no longer feel the room dim
off my favorite cliff with a grin
Red Cliff side
where legend has it
two lovers had also died
when their destiny seemed unfulfilled
that haunts me
looking into their eyes
as my life subsides
and in a vision I see your face
smiling and inviting me inside.
(7/13/09) Denise Aktipis
{!MiA}
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