Hey. How are you? I haven’t written for a while.
It’s no coincidence that the 29th was your court date, and that’s a year from the last time I talked to you. Fucking funny how shit pans out like that, isn’t it? And, I gather it didn’t go so well for you. Or it didn’t go the way you wanted it to. I watched the kids for Rob while he and Alaina went to court, then he showed me the journal he had kept when he got back.
Wow, Vicki. I had no IDEA. I’m not saying I’m taking the journal as a historian’s account of what happened, I understand it was written from Rob’s point of view with his interests in mind. What kills me is what I remember YOU telling me about that time in your life. No inkling of what really happened during the BFE or the summer months following. Not a one. I sat there and read that and thought that maybe you had REALLY stopped talking a long time before I thought you did.
Well. Whatever now, right?
I tried to call your cell. I texted first and then I called. I had been drinking and things were falling apart (so I thought) with Paul and me, so I decided enough was enough. Drinking and dialing, right?
Yeah, I knew that Rob had told me you got a new PA cell number, and probably that’s why I had the balls to send the text, then dial, but I also hoped that maybe the 440 number wasn’t defunct yet. It was.
I don’t even know what I would have said. Sometimes the urge to call you is so strong, I wonder if you might not be thinking about me too? Then I get the ‘number is no longer valid’ message and think that I’m a fucking idiot.
Your children look great and are beautiful, by the way. Polite, well-spoken, funny, healthy and just fun to be around.
I posted those pictures on Facebook with my profile open hoping to get a response out of you. Didn’t work, I guess.
There’s always e-mail. And there’s always the fact that my number hasn’t changed, but let’s not go there. It’s hard enough just letting go of your SPEED DIAL for crying out loud. (I still haven’t) Maybe someday I’ll just delete it in a fit of whatever it is that I’m feeling, then be pissed at myself since once I delete it, there’s another part of you gone. I know. Dumb. But hey, it IS 2009 — who knew back in 1984 (25 years ago this month) we’d be partially defined by our CELL PHONE. Ha!
Snap’s getting so old. I came in tonight and he didn’t even know I was there for about 10 minutes. It kills me to see that.
Well, nothing is new here. I just thought I’d say hello to you in my head.
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